What is premarital counseling and how is it helpful?
A strong marriage is built like a strong house: from the foundation up.
Common topics covered in premarital counseling include:
Effective communication.
Learning to manage style differences.
Learning to negotiate differences in preferences in values.
Managing expectations in parenting, finances, and shared responsibilities.
Creating and maintaining healthy intimacy.
Navigating vulnerabilities such as career decisions, relocations, illness, caring for aging parents.
Managing boundaries and expectations between families (in-laws and extended family members).
Listening and understanding each other’s needs, responding to them fully, and remaining actively engaged in supporting each other throughout the relationship.
Discussing difficult topics such as prenuptial agreements or merging/keeping separate bank accounts.
Maintaining a healthy work-life balance and learning to make time for each other.
Premarital counseling helps couples ensure they have explored all the topics relevant to making a long-term commitment that can stand the test of time and life stressors.
Premarital counseling is as preventative as it gets in weeding out problems or potential issues that may arise in the future. It gives couples a space to consider topics they may not have and weigh in on their values and goals.
Style differences are inherent in relationships, and they cannot be changed. It’s important to learn what they are and how to manage them overtime, so the relationship doesn’t deteriorate into resentment or contempt. Many couples don’t know how to manage differences and later end up trying to untangle years of hurt that put strain on intimacy and connection. It may take 20 years, but the accumulation of positive and negative interactions impact relationships and result in enriched connection or pain and potential divorce.
Communication pitfalls are extremely common and one of the top reasons couples seek relationship counseling. There are ways to communicate that work, promoting lasting connection and producing resolutions in conflicts. Most people don’t know how to resolve conflicts fully. They argue, wait for the mood cloud to blow over, and then call it good until it surfaces next time. Years of this cycle wear couples out, and relationships deteriorate.
Communication and the willingness to learn are essential in a healthy marriage.
There are many important topics to discuss before tying the knot. Sometimes couples do a great job discussing and working through visions, values, and differences. Others don’t realize how many assumptions or projections they make and end up frustrated over time.
If you’re interested in learning how to ensure your relationship foundation is solid, premarital counseling can help. As a seasoned Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who is also happily married, I understand the importance of a healthy relationship, and the stressors that can wear it out over time. Feel free to give me a call and we can discuss how couples counseling can help you.
